2024 08 18

An ordinary house, on a street, in Chicago, Illinois. July, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Listening to Daniel Johnston right now. Going to attempt some free writing.

I feel like my photographic style is a lot like Daniel Johnston’s music in the sense that we don’t really know what we’re doing, we’re not too polished, we’re operating on feel, and we embrace mistakes. Sometimes the mistakes are better than the intentions. I’ll often go into an assignment and just set lights up and allow my intuition to take over. I’ve always wished I could play music, but I can’t, or at least I’ve never tried to seriously, but I imagine a good musician approaches performing like this… they just sort of know what to do. It’s intuitive. Dave Grohl was on an SNL rerun last night and all I could think about was how he seemed like a guy playing a rock star. The music felt performative and forced. The songs were good, sure, but it ain’t Nirvana. Imagine, however, being the guy who has to live up to Nirvana your whole life. With that head of hair, I’d probably be doing exactly what Dave Grolh is doing.

I was given drugs once and told to give them a chance. I ended up listening to Daniel Johsnton the entire night. On repeat, over and over and over again. I didn’t sleep. I couldn’t sleep. The sun came up and I got myself out of bed and walked down to the bar and wondered what had just happened. The intangibles in life are what I’m attracted to. Why does this shadow look interesting on the alley wall? Why are all of the best artists the ones that mostly go unnoticed by the rest of us? David Dondero and Lydia Davis and Bobby Conn and John Bellows and Tim Davis and Tim Kreider and Storm Jameson and Blaze Foley and a million other amazing artists largely being ignored by the rest of the world.

I (this post is clearly about me) once told my good friend I “wanted to be remembered” which he found insane. His interpretation was like on a George Washington level. My intention was like on a Dan Deacon level. Like if you know you know. The best of the best in a very specific category. I’ll never forget some of those Dan Deacon sets I witnessed a bunch of years ago. They will stick with me until the day I die like my body odor funk and receding hairline. My wish is to create art that sticks in people’s brains and has any sort of impact. Music and writing seem like the best ways to get there, but I’m a visual guy so photography is where I’ve landed. I’m still figuring this shit out but my instinct right now is to toss my laptop against the wall in protest of whatever-the-fuck I’m even talking about so I should leave it at that, crack a cold one, and calm down.

-Clayton