2024 12 02
Seems like weāre due for another Life Update Monday around here. Itās been a while. As always, I use this blog primarily as a space for me to think and practice writing. Honestly, after close to a year of doing this every day, Iām happy with the results so far! That said, this year has also been a blur. Iām clearly taking on too much and doing too many different things. While mostly by design, Iām aware itās not sustainable and plan to scale back on my ambitions next year, while hopefully focusing on less things simultaneously.
Today, I woke up to a social media post that hit me:
Nietzsche describes 3 modern vices:
ļ»æļ»æļ»æOverwork. To be constantly busy is self-negation. It betrays "a will to forget" oneself.
ļ»æļ»æļ»æCuriosity. Vague curiosity about everything, without deep obsessions, goes nowhere.
ļ»æļ»æļ»æSympathy. Sympathy for all = a refusal to rank good and bad.
Iām definitely guilty of numbers one and two and generally agree with his assessment of their negative aspects. These next two weeks are going to be a whirlwind, as I have a number of studio events going on (including a holiday market I organized happening this Saturday!) and multiple photo shoots (some my own, including a large four-day shoot, along with others where I play the role of studio manager). Picking priorities and ensuring the most important tasks donāt get neglected is critical, but of course, many of the less important details are going to get put off. My printing, side projects, a holiday party, bartending, Illinois Project, reading, photo editing, website updating, blogging, film screenings, portrait sessions, all will have to wait until next year.
Bigger picture, a big takeaway Iāve had from this yearās chaos was that I love running a photo studio space, largely for reasons that donāt even involve photo shoots: hosting and planning events, collaborating with fun and interesting people, community. Itās a ton of work and exhausting, but nevertheless fills me with purpose and inspiration. The big challenge is figuring out how to make an event space sustainable financially.
Ideally, I can continue to focus my time and energy on these things, while also keeping my love for photography in the forefront. I continually look at places like Baltimore Photo Space as inspiration and plan to pursuit some hybrid entity that combines all the things See You Soon already is, while making it more focused on photography as an art form, which I continue to think is wildly underrated.
I realize this is all quite vague, and thatās because it is and will continue to be a work in progress, and there are still lots of questions to be answered. This post, I hope, will serve as a reminder to myself that I canāt neglect focusing inward and giving my own voice a space to talk. Whatever becomes of See You Soon will be best guided by following my own interests and excitement and not by attempting to copy something that exists elsewhere.
-Clayton
Seems like weāre due for another Life Update Monday around here. Itās been a while. As always, I use this blog primarily as a space for me to think and practice writing. Honestly, after close to a year of doing this every day, Iām happy with the results so far! That said, this year has also been a blur. Iām clearly taking on too much and doing too many different things. While mostly by design, Iām aware itās not sustainable and plan to scale back on my ambitions next year, while hopefully focusing on less things simultaneously.
Today, I woke up to a social media post that hit me:
Nietzsche describes 3 modern vices:
ļ»æļ»æļ»æOverwork. To be constantly busy is self-negation. It betrays "a will to forget" oneself.
ļ»æļ»æļ»æCuriosity. Vague curiosity about everything, without deep obsessions, goes nowhere.
ļ»æļ»æļ»æSympathy. Sympathy for all = a refusal to rank good and bad.
Iām definitely guilty of numbers one and two and generally agree with his assessment of their negative aspects. These next two weeks are going to be a whirlwind, as I have a number of studio events going on (including a holiday market I organized happening this Saturday!) and multiple photo shoots (some my own, including a large four-day shoot, along with others where I play the role of studio manager). Picking priorities and ensuring the most important tasks donāt get neglected is critical, but of course, many of the less important details are going to get put off. My printing, side projects, a holiday party, bartending, Illinois Project, reading, photo editing, website updating, blogging, film screenings, portrait sessions, all will have to wait until next year.
Bigger picture, a big takeaway Iāve had from this yearās chaos was that I love running a photo studio space, largely for reasons that donāt even involve photo shoots: hosting and planning events, collaborating with fun and interesting people, community. Itās a ton of work and exhausting, but nevertheless fills me with purpose and inspiration. The big challenge is figuring out how to make an event space sustainable financially.
Ideally, I can continue to focus my time and energy on these things, while also keeping my love for photography in the forefront. I continually look at places like Baltimore Photo Space as inspiration and plan to pursuit some hybrid entity that combines all the things See You Soon already is, while making it more focused on photography as an art form, which I continue to think is wildly underrated.
I realize this is all quite vague, and thatās because it is and will continue to be a work in progress, and there are still lots of questions to be answered. This post, I hope, will serve as a reminder to myself that I canāt neglect focusing inward and giving my own voice a space to talk. Whatever becomes of See You Soon will be best guided by following my own interests and excitement and not by attempting to copy something that exists elsewhere.
-Clayton
2024 10 21
Lately Iāve been doing too much. Or, better put, Iāve been trying to do too much. Spreading myself too thin. The blog has suffered as a result, nearly missing some days and putting in bare minimum effort others. Iāve missed writing my Morning Pages more days than not. I find Iām most successful in life when I focus my attention into one or two things. This blog isnāt a thing because Iām trying to make it into a business, but it is a thing because Iām using it to focus my attention on something. Get my thoughts down onto digital paper. And to keep me motivated to make and share new images. It has been successful at times and less so at others.
There are a few more in-depth posts I will make a priority to share this week when Iām not busy doing my ārealā jobs. Today, we are filming a documentary project as part of my slow and reluctant pivot towards video. Wednesday I am photographing a different project. Otherwise I am printing, working on art, working on a book shop, studio managing, event planning, life planning, invoicing, catching up on my personal life. Itās all too much, really. Iām starting to get the sense that if I continue to try and carry all of these bags, Iām going to drop them.
We recently lost a few photography jobs because we were too expensive. Today, we took a call with a prospective client who is looking for someone cheaper then their existing photographer partner. It all feels a bit too on the nose. Itās like life is delivering me a clear choice and I need to decide which path I will go down. Work for less or work less.
-Clayton
Lately Iāve been doing too much. Or, better put, Iāve been trying to do too much. Spreading myself too thin. The blog has suffered as a result, nearly missing some days and putting in bare minimum effort others. Iāve missed writing my Morning Pages more days than not. I find Iām most successful in life when I focus my attention into one or two things. This blog isnāt a thing because Iām trying to make it into a business, but it is a thing because Iām using it to focus my attention on something. Get my thoughts down onto digital paper. And to keep me motivated to make and share new images. It has been successful at times and less so at others.
There are a few more in-depth posts I will make a priority to share this week when Iām not busy doing my ārealā jobs. Today, we are filming a documentary project as part of my slow and reluctant pivot towards video. Wednesday I am photographing a different project. Otherwise I am printing, working on art, working on a book shop, a bar, a creative studio, studio managing, event planning, life planning, invoicing, catching up on my personal life. Itās all too much, really. Iām starting to get the sense that if I continue to try and carry all of these bags, Iām going to drop them.
We recently lost a few photography jobs because we were too expensive. Today, we took a call with a prospective client who is looking for someone cheaper than their existing long-term photographer partner. It all feels a bit too on the nose. Itās like life is delivering me a clear choice and I need to decide which path I will go down. Work for less or work less.
Allison & I had a very nice dinner at Houndstooth last week. While the food was delicious, my biggest takeaway was how calm and orderly the kitchen prepared our food while we sat and watched at the chefās counter. It was inspiring! It made me dream of a life so structured and orderlyā¦ being able to do something youāre passionate about in a calm and sustaining manner. But as is always the case in life, thereās so much more going on behind the scenes, for the better and for the worse, in order to be able to get to a place of such stability.
-Clayton
2024 09 02
Itās been a while since Iāve done a Life Update Monday. I figured it might be interested (to me, perhaps) to reply to my previous Life Update Monday (2024 07 08), as seen below in the bullet points.
My commercial photography career continues along at unsustainable levels, causing me to continue to consider new career options (fine art photography? full-time motion directing? bar ownership?). Yes, Iām keeping quite busy on hospitality jobs and smaller projects, but the big budget jobs are less and less frequent. Something needs to change (I hope itās more work!).
Fortunately, work has been very constant in the last two months. Iāve had two large commercial projects and a bunch of smaller stuff. I nearly booked a third even larger project, which wouldāve made my year, but they ended up chosing the other photographer (it was down to the final two ā I think my really thoughtful treatment helped almost win me the jobā¦and writing here every day helped me with the treatmentā¦ etc, etc).
The
photo studio
has been more stable (profitable, even!) lately, but Iām not yet optimistic this will consistently be the case moving forward (again, commercial projects have been way less frequent among photographers I know, myself included). I really love the studio space and want to make it work, but the amount of my time required just to get it breakeven is also not sustainable. Again, something needs to change (I hope itās more work!).
I still love the space and itās still a lot of work. It has also been continuing along at a busy pace. Last week was a nice example of what Iām aiming for the studio to be: I was out of town on work all week yet the space was busy with castings much of the week. Next week will also be a nice example of what I want the studio to be as there will be two great events happening! More on those belowā¦
While the big jobs are not going on, I spent the last week and a half diving deep into the world of portrait photography via my āKeep it 100ā setups. Iām learning a lot and itās actually been quite interesting, exciting even, to feel like Iām starting all over again and hustling for clients. Very much re-learning to appreciate every single dollar I earn through photography. Definitely planning to write more in depth about all this in the coming days.
Iām really looking forward to doing another round of āKeep it 100ā portraits and have been scheming on other things I could do with it, like take it on the road perhaps. While in Pittsburgh a few days ago I kept an eye out for potential places I might be able to partner with for a limited run of dates. Need to think on this some more!
Iād been planning to document both the RNC and DNC, however, stupidly had the wrong dates on my calendar and my one week of vacation in the Wisconsin Northwoods falls on the same dates as the RNC being held in Milwaukee, so I will likely miss most of all of it. Kind of annoyed about it but also really need to give myself some time off as Iāve been pushing myself way too hard lately. Still hoping to cover the DNC, which might be an absolute shit show. Politics are very depressing lately, but this might be one of the larger stories of our lifetime.
The political photo summer Iād been imagining never materialized. They have these things so locked down, though, it didnāt really have a chance from what my brain was imagining. We did, however, do a really fun DNC-adjacent event at the studio so Iām considering it a win.
Had my first tarot card reading yesterday. It was surprisingly apt in its assessment.
Had my second tarot card reading two days ago! It, too, was a surprisingly accurate in its assessment. I realize thereās an angle to these things but I appreciate it gets you thinking about stuff you want to be thinking about.
I started reading/doing The Artistās Way after finally finishing the 640 page The Big Store, which was inspired by this previous post:
2024 03 29
. I should do a book review or followup post.
Still working on The Artistās Way and still keeping up with my morning pages most days (not all days, need to change that but have been too busy). Also, I did write a review of The Big Store (see: 2024 07 17)! Since then, I listened to the audiobook of Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir and have started the audiobook of The Wandering Earth by Cixin Liu which I am loving and wanted to do a review on Project Hail Mary, which I very much enjoyed the concept of (Wandering Earth is similar but maybe even better!).
I booked my favorite musician (
David Dondero
) to play a show at the studio September 9th. Save the date! More info to come!
This show is happening a week from today! Monday, September 9th from 7-10pm at my See You Soon space. You should definitely come out, it will be a nice night!
Now that this blog has been populated quite a lot, Iām getting rather annoyed at Squarespaceās rather minimal (bad) handling of blogs. This platform is not really designed for intensive writing or bulk posting. A search bar would be great! If only those had been invented.
Still annoyed with squarespace and they are not getting any better. Iām legit wondering if I should migrate the entire site elsewhere after a year.
Can you tell Iām stressed about money these days? While that does suck, Iāve been quite high on life otherwise and feeling great about most everything else! Money stress is never fun but I continue to tell myself itās just money and weāll figure it out.
Still stressed about money but less so (working helps a lot, it turns out!). Also, the stress largely stems from how much we are spending on our wedding, which is now less than two weeks away! Iām leaning that anything wedding-related is expensive in large part because of the psychology of weddings. Itās only money, afterall, and the love of your partner and family and friends is far more important, so you tend to just let it all slide and plan to worry about it later.
This has been a Life Update Update. Thank you for being here.
-Clayton
Itās been a while since Iāve done a Life Update Monday. I figured it might be interested (to me, perhaps) to reply to my previous Life Update Monday (2024 07 08), as seen below in the bullet points.
My commercial photography career continues along at unsustainable levels, causing me to continue to consider new career options (fine art photography? full-time motion directing? bar ownership?). Yes, Iām keeping quite busy on hospitality jobs and smaller projects, but the big budget jobs are less and less frequent. Something needs to change (I hope itās more work!).
Fortunately, work has been very constant in the last two months. Iāve had two large commercial projects and a bunch of smaller stuff. I nearly booked a third even larger project, which wouldāve made my year, but they ended up chosing the other photographer (it was down to the final two ā I think my really thoughtful treatment helped almost win me the jobā¦and writing here every day helped me with the treatmentā¦ etc, etc).
The photo studio has been more stable (profitable, even!) lately, but Iām not yet optimistic this will consistently be the case moving forward (again, commercial projects have been way less frequent among photographers I know, myself included). I really love the studio space and want to make it work, but the amount of my time required just to get it breakeven is also not sustainable. Again, something needs to change (I hope itās more work!).
I still love the space and itās still a lot of work. It has also been continuing along at a busy pace. Last week was a nice example of what Iām aiming for the studio to be: I was out of town on work all week yet the space was busy with castings much of the week. Next week will also be a nice example of what I want the studio to be as there will be two great events happening! More on those belowā¦
While the big jobs are not going on, I spent the last week and a half diving deep into the world of portrait photography via my āKeep it 100ā setups. Iām learning a lot and itās actually been quite interesting, exciting even, to feel like Iām starting all over again and hustling for clients. Very much re-learning to appreciate every single dollar I earn through photography. Definitely planning to write more in depth about all this in the coming days.
Iām really looking forward to doing another round of āKeep it 100ā portraits and have been scheming on other things I could do with it, like take it on the road perhaps. While in Pittsburgh a few days ago I kept an eye out for potential places I might be able to partner with for a limited run of dates. Need to think on this some more!
Iād been planning to document both the RNC and DNC, however, stupidly had the wrong dates on my calendar and my one week of vacation in the Wisconsin Northwoods falls on the same dates as the RNC being held in Milwaukee, so I will likely miss most of all of it. Kind of annoyed about it but also really need to give myself some time off as Iāve been pushing myself way too hard lately. Still hoping to cover the DNC, which might be an absolute shit show. Politics are very depressing lately, but this might be one of the larger stories of our lifetime.
The political photo summer Iād been imagining never materialized. They have these things so locked down, though, it didnāt really have a chance from what my brain was imagining. We did, however, do a really fun DNC-adjacent event at the studio so Iām considering it a win.
Had my first tarot card reading yesterday. It was surprisingly apt in its assessment.
Had my second tarot card reading two days ago! It, too, was a surprisingly accurate in its assessment. I realize thereās an angle to these things but I appreciate it gets you thinking about stuff you want to be thinking about.
I started reading/doing The Artistās Way after finally finishing the 640 page The Big Store, which was inspired by this previous post: 2024 03 29. I should do a book review or followup post.
Still working on The Artistās Way and still keeping up with my morning pages most days (not all days, need to change that but have been too busy). Also, I did write a review of The Big Store (see: 2024 07 17)! Since then, I listened to the audiobook of Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir and have started the audiobook of The Wandering Earth by Cixin Liu which I am loving and wanted to do a review on Project Hail Mary, which I very much enjoyed the concept of (Wandering Earth is similar but maybe even better!).
I booked my favorite musician (David Dondero) to play a show at the studio September 9th. Save the date! More info to come!
This show is happening a week from today! Monday, September 9th from 7-10pm at my See You Soon space. You should definitely come out, it will be a nice night!
Now that this blog has been populated quite a lot, Iām getting rather annoyed at Squarespaceās rather minimal (bad) handling of blogs. This platform is not really designed for intensive writing or bulk posting. A search bar would be great! If only those had been invented.
Still annoyed with squarespace and they are not getting any better. Iām legit wondering if I should migrate the entire site elsewhere after a year.
Can you tell Iām stressed about money these days? While that does suck, Iāve been quite high on life otherwise and feeling great about most everything else! Money stress is never fun but I continue to tell myself itās just money and weāll figure it out.
Still stressed about money but less so (working helps a lot, it turns out!). Also, the stress largely stems from how much we are spending on our wedding, which is now less than two weeks away! Iām leaning that anything wedding-related is expensive in large part because of the psychology of weddings. Itās only money, afterall, and the love of your partner and family and friends is far more important, so you tend to just let it all slide and plan to worry about it later.
This has been a Life Update Update. Thank you for being here.
-Clayton
2024 07 08
Another Monday so itās time for another Life Update post, in no clear order:
My commercial photography career continues along at unsustainable levels, causing me to continue to consider new career options (fine art photography? full-time motion directing? bar ownership?). Yes, Iām keeping quite busy on hospitality jobs and smaller projects, but the big budget jobs are less and less frequent. Something needs to change (I hope itās more work!).
The photo studio has been more stable (profitable, even!) lately, but Iām not yet optimistic this will consistently be the case moving forward (again, commercial projects have been way less frequent among photographers I know, myself included). I really love the studio space and want to make it work, but the amount of my time required just to get it breakeven is also not sustainable. Again, something needs to change (I hope itās more work!).
While the big jobs are not going on, I spent last last week and a half diving deep into the world of portrait photography via my āKeep it 100ā setups. Iām learning a lot and itās actually been quite interesting, exciting even, to feel like Iām starting all over again and hustling for clients. Very much re-learning to appreciate every single dollar I earn through photography. Definitely planning to write more in depth about all this in the coming days.
Iād been planning to document both the RNC and DNC, however, stupidly had the wrong dates on my calendar and my one week of vacation in the Wisconsin Northwoods falls on the same dates as the RNC being held in Milwaukee, so I will likely miss most of all of it. Kind of annoyed about it but also really need to give myself some time off as Iāve been pushing myself way too hard lately. Still hoping to cover the DNC, which might be an absolute shit show. Politics are very depressing lately, but this might be one of the larger stories of our lifetime.
Had my first tarot card reading yesterday. It was surprisingly apt in its assessment.
I started reading/doing The Artistās Way after finally finishing the 640 page The Big Store, which was inspired by this previous post: 2024 03 29. I should do a book review or followup post.
I booked my favorite musician (David Dondero) to play a show at the studio September 9th. Save the date! More info to come!
Now that this blog has been populated quite a lot, Iām getting rather annoyed at Squarespaceās rather minimal (bad) handling of blogs. This platform is not really designed for intensive writing or bulk posting. A search bar would be great! If only those had been invented.
Can you tell Iām stressed about money these days? While that does suck, Iāve been quite high on life otherwise and feeling great about most everything else! Money stress is never fun but I continue to tell myself itās just money and weāll figure it out.
-Clayton
Another Monday so itās time for another Life Update post, in no clear order:
My commercial photography career continues along at unsustainable levels, causing me to continue to consider new career options (fine art photography? full-time motion directing? bar ownership?). Yes, Iām keeping quite busy on hospitality jobs and smaller projects, but the big budget jobs are less and less frequent. Something needs to change (I hope itās more work!).
The photo studio has been more stable (profitable, even!) lately, but Iām not yet optimistic this will consistently be the case moving forward (again, commercial projects have been way less frequent among photographers I know, myself included). I really love the studio space and want to make it work, but the amount of my time required just to get it breakeven is also not sustainable. Again, something needs to change (I hope itās more work!).
While the big jobs are not going on, I spent last last week and a half diving deep into the world of portrait photography via my āKeep it 100ā setups. Iām learning a lot and itās actually been quite interesting, exciting even, to feel like Iām starting all over again and hustling for clients. Very much re-learning to appreciate every single dollar I earn through photography. Definitely planning to write more in depth about all this in the coming days.
Iād been planning to document both the RNC and DNC, however, stupidly had the wrong dates on my calendar and my one week of vacation in the Wisconsin Northwoods falls on the same dates as the RNC being held in Milwaukee, so I will likely miss most of all of it. Kind of annoyed about it but also really need to give myself some time off as Iāve been pushing myself way too hard lately. Still hoping to cover the DNC, which might be an absolute shit show. Politics are very depressing lately, but this might be one of the larger stories of our lifetime.
Had my first tarot card reading yesterday. It was surprisingly apt in its assessment.
I started reading/doing The Artistās Way after finally finishing the 640 page The Big Store, which was inspired by this previous post: 2024 03 29. I should do a book review or followup post.
I booked my favorite musician (David Dondero) to play a show at the studio September 9th. Save the date! More info to come!
Now that this blog has been populated quite a lot, Iām getting rather annoyed at Squarespaceās rather minimal (bad) handling of blogs. This platform is not really designed for intensive writing or bulk posting. A search bar would be great! If only those had been invented.
Can you tell Iām stressed about money these days? While that does suck, Iāve been quite high on life otherwise and feeling great about most everything else! Money stress is never fun but I continue to tell myself itās just money and weāll figure it out.
-Clayton
2024 06 17
Life Update: itās finally happened. Iāve become the bitter old-guy photographer I always used to cringe at.
I had an idea while running downtown the other day: become wildly rich and get a condo in the newly renovated Tribune Tower. Not needing to worry about money any longer, I could continue posting to this blog daily while spending my nights downstairs at Billy Goat Tavern cosplaying as a poor person with influence. Like an old newspaperman. Someone people pay attention to. Maybe Iāll even pick up a cigar habbit.
Major corporations are now ashamed of appearing rich so attempt to hide it to not to infuriate the unequal masses. The flagship Apple Store on Michigan Avenue is both wildly expensive, constructed of load-bearing glass walls, yet nearly invisible to any passerby not looking for it. Part of their aesthetic is to be so minimal you forget they have access to quite literally everything you do or think.
Perhaps they are learning from history. Sears built the worldās largest skyscraper on the other side of town, modern and dominant, at the height of their success, and then immediately began to fail, in small part because it changed peopleās perspective of the store. They previously thought Sears was local and based somewhere near them, not off in some fancy Chicago tower. Appleās headquarters is a lowrise structure hiding out in one of Californiaās wealthiest suburbs.
Iāve always been ashamed of having money and owning a house largely because I know most of my fellow photographer colleagues donāt. Itās a struggle out here and Iāve been fortunate, while also busting by ass and neglecting most normal-people life decisions in the process to get where I am. These days, I too am reverting to the mean. Bigger jobs are happening far less frequently and smaller jobs are paying increasingly less money. My editorial portrait cover shoot this week will pay me roughly what my monthly health insurance premium payment equals.
Recently, I learned that one established photographer I know, who shoots top tier commercial campaigns, works twenty hours a week at Starbucks simply so he can get health insurance, thus saving him hundreds of thousands of dollars, but of course taking away much of his time and making him exhausted in the process. These tradeoffs are becoming increasingly necessary and Iām finding myself seeing the logic in landing a similar job for similar reasons, just because it makes sense compared to what Iām doing now.
The really young photographers have no idea photography used to be a career! One that they could make a livable wage doing. Now itās more of a hobby that might occasionally pay a couple hundred bucks. Still, I consider myself fortunate for making a go of it during a window of time where it was possible to do so. Hopefully, things pick back up again and I look back at this post next year and laugh. You gotta stay positive.
Anytime I tell a stranger Iām a photographer they say: oh like events and weddings? I always used to be offended by this but I probably shouldāve taken it more as a warning sign. The idea that people could be paid well to make photos of anything beyond documenting a live event now seems increasingly crazy. Even Adobe is trying to cut us out (āskip the photo shoot!ā), likely as payback for everyone stealing their software for years.
Lately photography feels like that sport where two people slap each other as hard as they can. People love that sport! You gotta stay positive.
Over the weekend, we were enjoying brunch at the bar and I was hypothetically discussing what job I could get with no college degree or experience in any line of work. Out of nowhere, another local photographer popped into frame from behind the bar to say hello! āBartending is steady work, consistent money, and it doesnāt pay net thirty, net sixty, net six months,ā he joked in that dead-inside way all of us professional photographers understand at a gut level.
Anyway, back to thinking about how I can become wildly wealthy and move into Tribune Towner. You gotta stay positive!
-Clayton
Life Update: itās finally happened. Iāve become the bitter old-guy photographer I always used to cringe at.
I had an idea while running downtown the other day: become wildly rich and get a condo in the newly renovated Tribune Tower. Not needing to worry about money any longer, I could continue posting to this blog daily while spending my nights downstairs at Billy Goat Tavern cosplaying as a poor person with influence. Like an old newspaperman. Someone people pay attention to. Maybe Iāll even pick up a cigar habbit.
Major corporations are now ashamed of appearing rich, so attempt to hide it to not to infuriate the unequal masses (us). The flagship Apple Store on Michigan Avenue is both wildly expensive, constructed of load-bearing glass walls, yet nearly invisible to any passerby not looking for it. Part of their aesthetic is to be so minimal you forget they have access to quite literally everything you do or think.
Perhaps they are learning from history. Sears built the worldās largest skyscraper on the other side of town, dominant and imposing, at the height of their success, and then immediately began to fail, in small part because it changed peopleās perspective of the store. Customers previously thought Sears was local and based somewhere near them, not off in some fancy Chicago tower. Appleās headquarters, meanwhile, is a lowrise fortified structure hiding out in one of Californiaās wealthiest suburbs ā out of sight.
Iāve always been ashamed of having money and owning a house largely because I know most of my fellow photographer colleagues donāt. Itās a struggle out here and Iāve been fortunate (while also busting by ass and neglecting most normal-people life decisions in the process to get where I am). These days, I too am reverting to the mean. Bigger jobs are happening far less frequently and smaller jobs are paying increasingly less money. My editorial portrait cover shoot this week will pay me roughly what my monthly health insurance premium payment equals.
Recently, I learned that one established photographer I know, who shoots top tier commercial ad campaigns, also works twenty hours a week at Starbucks simply so he can get health insurance, thus saving him thousands of dollars, but of course taking away much of his time and making him exhausted in the process. At least he has ample access to coffee? These tradeoffs are becoming increasingly necessary and Iām finding myself seeing the logic in landing a similar job for similar reasons, just because it makes sense compared to what Iām doing now.
The really young photographers have no idea photography used to be a career! One that they couldāve made a livable wage doing. Now itās more of a hobby that might occasionally pay a couple hundred bucks. Still, I consider myself fortunate for making a go of it during a window of time where it was possible to do so. Hopefully, things pick back up again and I look back at this post next year and laugh. You gotta stay positive.
Nearly every time I tell a stranger Iām a photographer, they say: oh like events and weddings? I always used to be offended by this but I probably shouldāve taken it more as a warning sign. The idea that people could be paid well to make photos of anything beyond documenting a live event now seems increasingly crazy. Even Adobe is trying to cut us out (āskip the photo shoot!ā), likely as payback for every photographer stealing their software for years.
Lately, photography feels like that sport where two people slap each other as hard as they can. People love that sport! You gotta stay positive.
Over the weekend, we were enjoying brunch at the bar and I was hypothetically discussing what job I could get with no college degree or experience in any line of work. Suddenly ā out of nowhere ā another local photographer popped into frame from behind the bar to say hello! āBartending is steady work, consistent money, and it doesnāt pay net thirty, net sixty, net six months,ā he joked in that dead-inside way all of us professional photographers understand at a gut level.
Anyway, back to thinking about how I can become wildly wealthy and move into my fancy Tribune Towner condo, looking down on the world. You gotta stay positive!
-Clayton
2024 06 10
Itās another Monday Life Update. Not too much to report on this week, which is fine. Itās a bit more healthy compared to my more frantic update last week, which even had my mom worried about my mental health. Sure, I still to have quite a lot on my mind, but perhaps itās a bit more focused, namely:
We began production on a documentary film project. Itās still very early days and this project may or may not go anywhere (managing expectations), but we do have quite a lot of ideas on where to take it and we do now have one day of filming in the can, as they (used) to say. I still need to watch the footage and grade myself. Still learning new gear and how to record sound, etc.
Still planning this wedding. Have eleven tables set to arrive any minute now. Spent the weekend figuring out our registry list. It wonāt end until September.
I picked up a Murakami book (After Dark) at a used sale while out getting coffee because a) Iāve been meaning to read more of him and b) Iām legitimately considering the idea of opening a bar, which he is a (perhaps weirdly) someone I reference in my brain whenever this idea pops up. The writing is good and reminds me that I need to read more print, as Iāve been doing Audiobooks almost exclusively lately, often while running.
Speaking of running: I had a crazy idea that I wanted to hit a marathon-length run before my September wedding date. Considering I am not in fantastic physical shape currently, this idea is quite unrealistic. Iāve scaled back my ambition to a half marathon.
Iām being reminded how time consuming and involved video post production is. This was literally my job after college and I strayed from it for this exact reason. I need to discover a healthy and balanced relationship between shooting, which I love, and editing, which I feel like I can only either obsessively dive into or completely shun. Itās a work in progress.
Lastly, this bar situation Iāve been subtly mentioning. Opening a bar has long been an idea which Iāve thought about. In my older years, the idea has faded as the realization of how much damn hard work it would be has taken hold. When youāre younger, you think of the upsides more than the darker realities. When youāre older, the time consumed doing the bullshit required tends to make you have second thoughts about everything.
Whatās crazy, though, is that my industry is in a bit of turmoil lately and most people I talk to have been siding with the idea of opening a bar over the idea of being a photographer. Iād been thinking I was greedy to even have these thoughts, but the amount of people who share my views, and have encouraged them, has been quite eye opening. I feel like a longer post about the state of commercial photography is in order. Itās complicated and complex, but the overall vibe on the streets these days is not a healthy one and something needs to change.
-Clayton
Itās another Monday Life Update. Not too much to report on this week, which is fine. Itās a bit more healthy compared to my more frantic update last week, which even had my mom worried about my mental health. Sure, I still to have quite a lot on my mind, but perhaps itās a bit more focused, namely:
We began production on a documentary film project. Itās still very early days and this project may or may not go anywhere (managing expectations), but we do have quite a lot of ideas on where to take it and we do now have one day of filming in the can, as they (used) to say. I still need to watch the footage and grade myself. Still learning new gear and how to record sound, etc.
Still planning this wedding. Eleven tables are scheduled to be delivered any minute now. We spent the weekend figuring out our registry list. It wonāt end until September.
I picked up a Murakami book (After Dark) at a used sale while out getting coffee because a) Iāve been meaning to read more of him and b) Iām legitimately considering the idea of opening a bar, which he is (perhaps weirdly) someone I reference in my brain whenever this idea pops up. The writing is good and reminds me that I need to read more print, as Iāve been doing Audiobooks almost exclusively lately, often while running. Plus Iād love to go to Japan but donāt see that happening in real life soon, so at least I can take a trip in my head.
Speaking of running: I had a crazy idea that I wanted to hit a marathon-length run before my September wedding date. Considering I am not in fantastic physical shape currently, this idea is quite unrealistic. Iāve scaled back my ambition to a half marathon.
Iām being reminded how time consuming and involved video post production is. This was literally my job after college and I strayed from it for this exact reason. I need to discover a healthy and balanced relationship between shooting, which I love, and editing, which I feel like I can only either obsessively dive into or completely shun. Itās a work-in-progress.
Lastly, this bar situation Iāve been subtly mentioning. Opening a bar has long been an idea which Iāve thought about. In my older years, the idea has faded as the realization of how much damn hard work it would be has taken hold. When youāre younger, you think of the upsides more than the darker realities. When youāre older, the time consumed doing the bullshit required tends to make you have second thoughts about everything.
Whatās crazy, though, is that my industry is in a bit of turmoil lately and most people I talk to have been siding with the idea of opening a bar over the idea of being a photographer. Iād been thinking I was greedy to even have these thoughts, but the amount of people who share my views, and have encouraged them, has been quite eye opening. I feel like a longer post about the state of commercial photography is in order. Itās complicated and complex, but the overall vibe on the streets these days is not a healthy one and something needs to change.
-Clayton
2024 06 03
Another Monday, another Life Update:
I canāt believe I am saying this but I think I might be starting a podcast. Yes, Iām ten years late. No, Iām not doing it for the fame or to make money or to grow a following. Much like this blog, if it does happen it will be for personal growth and as a creative outlet. Hell, I may not even tell anyone it exists.
Planning a wedding continues to be time consuming as all hell. It is starting to feel like this entire year will be spent on this wedding. I donāt quite understand how this is possible.
Iām falling behind on my ambitions to be photographing an art photobook. Finding the time to get out and shoot and explore is proving to be more of a challenge than I expected, largely becuase
Running a studio is also time consuming. The good news is there have been more bookings lately so the space has been more of a net positive, financially speaking, which is good because
Commercial photo projects have been significantly slower this year. Itās beginning to weigh on me as itās now June and things donāt feel like they are picking up much. Iām hearing a similar opinion from basically every other photographer I ask about it. Maybe I should open a bar? The good news is
Smaller shoots are still happening. I did a fun cocktail photo job last week along with a motion piece on Meadowlark which is now going thru the post-production process. Video is a ton of work and requires collaboration with others. On that note
Iām shooting two more video projects this week (one test, one exploratory documentary project) as I continue to pivot more into doing motion work. This has me pretty excited and Iāve been watching a silly amount of camera and gear videos on youtube to get myself up to speed on what technology is available these days.
-Clayton
Another Monday, another Life Update:
I canāt believe I am saying this but I think I might be starting a podcast. Yes, Iām ten years late. No, Iām not doing it for the fame or to make money or to grow a following. Much like this blog, if it does happen it will be for personal growth and as a creative outlet. Hell, I may not even tell anyone it exists.
Planning a wedding continues to be time consuming as all hell. It is starting to feel like this entire year will be spent on this wedding. I donāt quite understand how this is possible.
Iām falling behind on my ambitions to be photographing an art photobook. Finding the time to get out and shoot and explore is proving to be more of a challenge than I expected, largely becuase
Running a studio is also time consuming. The good news is there have been more bookings lately so the space has been more of a net positive, financially speaking, which is good because
Commercial photo projects have been significantly slower this year. Itās beginning to weigh on me as itās now June and things donāt feel like they are picking up much. Iām hearing a similar opinion from basically every other photographer I ask about it. Maybe I should open a bar? The good news is
Smaller shoots are still happening. I did a fun cocktail photo job last week along with a motion piece on Meadowlark which is now going thru the post-production process. Video is a ton of work and requires collaboration with others. On that note
Iām shooting two more video projects this week (one test, one exploratory documentary project) as I continue to pivot more into doing motion work. This has me pretty excited and Iāve been watching a silly amount of camera and gear videos on youtube to get myself up to speed on what technology is available these days.
-Clayton
2024 05 20
My bald cypress treeā¦ Can a tree really belong to someone? I think not. But I do love and care for this tree as if it was my own child. Watching Baldee grow up has brought joy to my life. I kid (a little) but being a man without a human kid or (currently) dog or cat or hampster to care for, you take the love where you can get it.
Anyway. Itās Life Update Monday!
Life Updates:
Becoming a āportrait photographerā is way more challenging than I ever wouldāve guessed. Convincing people to pay you money for them to come to your studio to stand in front of your camera is no easy task.
That said, Iām learning and making progress and having some fun with it as well! Ted Talk coming soonā¦
ā¦actually, Iāve been kinda wanting to write more honest thoughts about the backside of the photography business. Numbers, paperwork, production, etc. Is this something anyone wants to see? Am I just opening up a can of worms I will regret? Leave a comment!
Blog comments: nobody leaves them and itās making me feel like Iām speaking into the void. I understand why nobody blogs anymore and everyone tweets or Xāes or whatever-you-call-it-now. Instant gratification is a nasty beast.
Iām photographing two projects this week that should be both challenging and interesting. One is motion! One is studio cocktails in a style Iāve not previously explored. Iām also exploring different lighting approaches in both (namely, continuous lights vs strobes).
The studio is a full-time job and something I should also write a bit more about. Lots of lessons learned over the last 2-3 years. The last few months it has been cashflow positive, which is obviously nice but is not always the case (nor was I expecting it to be, however, I was expecting it to be easier in almost every other way than it has been).
Weather is nice. Iām jinxing it but why havenāt there been mosquitos yet??? Did we bioengineer them away? The last few years in Chicago theyāve been terrible and so far this year Iām not sure Iāve even seen one. Iām sure they are coming, but damn, itās been real nice.
Printing! I havenāt had time to get too into it yet, but, damn! The first few prints Iāve made (Iāve only been testing paper samples so far with the same image) have really lit a fire under my ass. Iām optimistic it will unlock a whole new perspective on what photography even is, to me. More on that soon.
-Clayton
My bald cypress treeā¦ Can a tree really belong to someone? I think not. But I do love and care for this tree as if it was my own child. Watching Baldee grow up has brought joy to my life. I kid (a little) but being a man without a human kid or (currently) dog or cat or hampster to care for, you take the love where you can get it.
Anyway. Itās Life Update Monday!
Life Updates:
Becoming a āportrait photographerā is way more challenging than I ever wouldāve guessed. Convincing people to pay you money for them to come to your studio to stand in front of your camera is no easy task.
That said, Iām learning and making progress and having some fun with it as well! Ted Talk coming soonā¦
ā¦actually, Iāve been kinda wanting to write more honest thoughts about the backside of the photography business. Numbers, paperwork, production, etc. Is this something anyone wants to see? Am I just opening up a can of worms I will regret? Leave a comment!
Blog comments: nobody leaves them and itās making me feel like Iām speaking into the void. I understand why nobody blogs anymore and everyone tweets or Xāes or whatever-you-call-it-now. Instant gratification is a nasty beast.
Iām photographing two projects this week that should be both challenging and interesting. One is motion! One is studio cocktails in a style Iāve not previously explored. Iām also exploring different lighting approaches in both (namely, continuous lights vs strobes).
The studio is a full-time job and something I should also write a bit more about. Lots of lessons learned over the last 2-3 years. The last few months it has been cashflow positive, which is obviously nice but is not always the case (nor was I expecting it to be, however, I was expecting it to be easier in almost every other way than it has been).
Weather is nice. Iām jinxing it but why havenāt there been mosquitos yet??? Did we bioengineer them away? The last few years in Chicago theyāve been terrible and so far this year Iām not sure Iāve even seen one. Iām sure they are coming, but damn, itās been real nice.
Printing! I havenāt had time to get too into it yet, but, damn! The first few prints Iāve made (Iāve only been testing paper samples so far with the same image) have really lit a fire under my ass. Iām optimistic it will unlock a whole new perspective on what photography even is, to me. More on that soon.
-Clayton
2024 05 13
Itās common sense, but interesting to me, how without experiencing something firsthand you tend to not notice it happening all around you. Iāve never been a dog owner in my forty plus years on earth and it was only recently that I learned, while watching dogs for friends, that a dog will tuck its tail firmly between its legs when sensing trouble. This is not a profound realization by any stretch, but now that I know it, I notice it all the time.
It was never a goal to make this blog a personal life update space, but perhaps a weekly check-in might be useful? Letās give it a shot, since I donāt have anything else lined up.
Life Updates (in no particular order):
My buddy (and owner of Buddy) Mr. Kenneth Yoder is screening his feature-length documentary tonight at Consignment Lounge. Itās picture lock, he claims, so maybe this beast is finally in the can. I give him shit, because the project has dragged on for years, but I am super proud of him nonetheless!
I might (might!) be venturing down the path of becoming a documentarian myself. More on this later.
Planning a wedding is stressful.
I now own a āproā printer and will be spending much time in the coming weeks learning to make (and possibly even sell?!) really quality photo prints.
Planning a wedding is expensive.
Iām doing a photo show in my studio with a cool photographer later this year. More info on that as it becomes official.
Iām planning to document both the DNC and RNC, for myself, both in words and images. I have no special access and this might be a challenge. Also, if a fancy commercial project comes up, Iāll prob skip it and take the money. Sorry, itās politics.
Planning a wedding is time consuming.
I have another great idea for a group photo show Iām hoping to host at my space later this year. More on that later.
I now have some prints showing at the Kimball Arts Center, where my studio is located.
Even when you āwinā in the stock market, you often lose. Iāve been buying stock in this website (Squarespace) because I think longer term the company will be at least 5x what itās currently valued at. Apparently, a private equity firm agreed with me and bought the company for slightly more than its current valuation, meaning I will no longer have access to further financial gains via an increase in stock price. Back to bitcoin, I go.
Planning a wedding sucks, but the wedding will be awesome and my partner is even more awesome, so itās all worth it!
-Clayton
Itās common sense, but interesting to me, how without experiencing something firsthand you tend to not notice it happening all around you. Iāve never been a dog owner in my forty plus years on earth and it was only recently that I learned, while watching dogs for friends, that a dog will tuck its tail firmly between its legs when sensing trouble. This is not a profound realization by any stretch, but now that I know it, I notice it all the time.
It was never a goal to make this blog a personal life update space, but perhaps a weekly check-in might be useful? Letās give it a shot, since I donāt have anything else lined up.
Life Updates (in no particular order):
My buddy (and owner of Buddy the dog) Mr. Kenneth Yoder is screening his feature-length documentary tonight at Consignment Lounge. Itās picture lock, he claims, so maybe this beast is finally in the can. I give him shit, because the project has dragged on for years, but I am super proud of him! (UPDATE: he really elevated this thing from the working edit I saw last year. Nice work, dude! You made something really worthwhile)
I might (might!) be venturing down the path of becoming a documentarian myself. More on this later.
Planning a wedding is stressful.
I now own a āproā printer and will be spending much time in the coming weeks learning to make (and possibly even sell?!) really quality photo prints.
Planning a wedding is expensive.
Iām doing a photo show in my studio with a cool photographer later this year. More info on that as it becomes official.
Iām planning to document both the DNC and RNC, for myself, both in words and images. I have no special access and this might be a challenge. Also, if a fancy commercial project comes up, Iāll prob skip it and take the money. Sorry, itās politics.
Planning a wedding is time consuming.
I have another great idea for a group photo show Iām hoping to host at my space later this year. More on that later.
I now have some prints showing at the Kimball Arts Center, where my studio is located.
Even when you āwinā in the stock market, you often lose. Iāve been buying stock in this website (Squarespace) because I think longer term the company will be at least 5x what itās currently valued at. Apparently, a private equity firm agreed with me and bought the company for slightly more than its current valuation, meaning I will no longer have access to further financial gains via an increase in stock price. Back to bitcoin, I go.
Planning a wedding sucks, but the wedding will be awesome and my partner is even more awesome, so itās all worth it!
-Clayton