2024 08 24
Living the high life. Chicago, Illinois. May, 2024. © Clayton Hauck
I’ve been busy lately. A bit too busy to keep up all my side projects, like this here blog. I’m noticing that lately I’m writing more and more about me. Why I’m doing this or thinking that. While I guess this is fine, it wasn’t the main intention of the project. Becoming a better writer was a core objective, so I guess if writing about myself is what helps me do that—fine.
Yesterday, we got word that we didn’t book a large project that my intuition had me feeling good about. At first, my intuition said we weren’t really in the mix, but if I wrote a really good treatment, it might make us a contender. Sure enough, the writing nearly put us over the finish live, though we ultimately came up a bit short. It’s a weird profession, commercial photography, filled with lots of politics and intangibles, but I kind of like that about it. At the end of the day, to me, the photos are what matters. But in life, it’s often more about how you get to where you’re going than anything else.
I have enough going on, like getting married in a few weeks and blogging daily, to fill my time. Filling my bank account is the part that I’ll miss about this one, though the project would’ve been a challenging one, which I think I would’ve excelled at, so ultimately a rewarding one as well.
Jumping to my next train of thought I had this morning: the challenges of becoming an aging photographer. While I do think I’m being awarded fewer jobs in part because I’m not as young as I used to be, the struggle is more internal, for me. Increasingly, I’m getting the sense that I need to find something different to dedicate the remainder of my productive life to, because photography (at least how I practice it) is physically demanding and my body will eventually call it a wrap. Because of this, I’ve been more attracted to the ideas of bar ownership (probably also physically demanding, how I would approach it) or writing (let’s be honest, not super realistic in terms of making a living—have you seen this blog?!). The obvious solution, however, has been sitting right in front of me all along: motion directing.
This morning, I’m departing for Maryland (really, I should be packing right now, not blogging) to take part in a tourism production next week. I’m driving, because I’m a proper Midwesterner (and have a car full of gear), so I’ll have a lot of time to stew on this idea of what I probably should be focusing my time and attention on. Video is what got me into this line of work in the beginning. I’d always wanted to direct and make movies, yet I’ve spent the last two decades avoiding video production as much as I possibly can! Figuring out what is at the core of this Resistance (imposter syndrome, laziness, social anxiety) will help free me to gain some newfound career freedom for my next two decades on this journey called life.
Final takeaway from this morning: I need to be more funny. Nobody, aside from perhaps my mom, has the interest in hearing me drone on about myself for this long! Yeah, I’m doing this here blog solely for me, but I can at least make it a bit more entertaining. Now, I gotta go pack!
-Clayton
