2024 09 10

Busted car. Chatsworth, Illinois. June, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

We just finished watching the presidential debate while in the weeds on wedding prep. I had a concept of a plan for posting to the blog today, but in the end this was the best I could muster. USA! USA! Vote! Vote!

-Clayton ✌️

2024 09 04

Busted car. Chicago, Illinois. May, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

This car hasn’t moved in three years. It exists solely for me to take an occasional photo of it, I think. One day, the hood was popped (as pictured)! I image the owner woke up in an ambitious mood. Today was the day they would watch a couple youtube videos and get their old car working again so they could drive down to the shrimp place on the south side they love but haven’t been able to get to in quite a while. A few hours later, the hood was back down and things returned to their normal state of being. The nearby shrimp joint will have to do.

See also: 2024 02 28

-Clayton

2024 08 17

Another busted car. Atlanta, Georgia. May, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Another day, another busted car image. This one is maybe my favorite yet, discovered while wandering Atlanta during a half-day off while on production.

Wandering is my favorite. I’ve long wanted to do a podcast called The Wanderer. Maybe it would be a video series. Maybe both. The list of things I want to do is long. Instead, I watch Bears preseason games and blog about my feelings. Can’t have it all.

-Clayton

2024 07 31

Another day, another busted car. Chicago, Illinois. May, 2024.

While handwriting my morning pages (see: 2024 07 06) this morning, NPR played an audio recap of the month of July. What an insane time we are living in! It’s like there’s just such an endless amount of insanity that it all blends together and starts to feel normal. I don’t have any profound takeaway to follow this up with, but have been finding it helpful to ignore the outside chaos and stay focused on my own tasks and goals. Previously, I would’ve judged myself for this behavior, thinking it irresponsible to not know about the world I’m living in. I’d spend endless hours pouring over The Economist, twitter, The New Yorker, taking in as much information as possible to give myself an “informed opinion” on current events. These days, as an older, more experienced, and slightly wiser man, I know it’s not possible to understand the world and knowing things is essentially just another form of entertaining myself.

Stay safe out there, y’all!

-Clayton

PS - this reminds me of one of the greatest comedic skits of our time…

2024 07 28

Colorful car, full of rizz. Chicago, Illinois. June, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

If you’re a regular reader of this here blog, you’ve possibly noticed I’ve been posting a relentless amount of images of busted cars (this car isn’t busted, per se, but is an old vehicle nonetheless). I’m not entirely sure why I’ve been drawn to capturing these images, but the urge remains. It’s a sign of the times, as my buddy Don’t Fret might say. Sure, they are an easy subject but that’s kind of the fun of it.

Two subjects have emerged from this space as likely subjects for potential future photo zine projects:

• Busted Cars (self explanatory)

• Mr Peepers (pets looking out windows)

I’ve been printing at the studio and loving it. While it’s still very much a time-consuming (and expensive!) learning process, I aim to get some personal zine projects in the works in the coming weeks and this gets me excited, even if the subject matter is as simple as this.

Hit the tag link below if you wanna check out the other “busted car” posts and drop a comment below if you have any interest in purchasing zine from me in the future. I’d love to know if I should print one copy or maybe two copies. 😛

-Clayton

2024 07 25

Busted car. Chicago, Illinois. April, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

One of my strengths as a photographer is editing. I have great patience and focus and can sit in front of the computer for hours, culling my images, adjusting color and tone, dodging and burning, cropping. I enjoy the editing process nearly as much as shooting and I feel strongly that photographers can learn just as much in the edit as they can while shooting. Often these lessons are subtle and subconscious. Noticing things that worked or didn’t turn out as expected. Finding the happy accidents and figuring out how to make them less of an accident on the next shoot.

One of my weakness as a photographer is editing. I fall in love with all my children and have a very hard time reducing thousands of images made on a shoot to hundreds of selects and then just a few… the vert best… final selects. My instinct is to keep more than I should, likely because of my background in video editing, just in case they might be needed for a future edit or work well in a layout. This is all fine and dandy, but what ends up happening is the amount of time I spend making final adjustments to my two dozen selects (instead of two or three) goes up exponentially.

Right now, I’m culling through my career-spanning folders (very unorganized, of course) of best-of-the-best selects as I work towards printing a new commercial portfolio. Clearly, 75% of the images realistically don’t belong in these folders and the fact that I now need to dig through the mess to get to the good bits is making the whole process drag on endlessly. The book is due Wednesday and I have 2 pages out of 36 printed. I’m out all weekend. The clock is ticking. I need to get back to work. Wish me luck.

-Clayton

2024 07 01

Busted car collecting tickets, to boot. Chicago, Illinois. May, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Some days, like today, when nothing seems to be going right, it doesn’t quite feel right to spend your time on trivial things like updating your daily photo blog. It is nice to have distractions, but these days I worry our distractions are working a little too well, as we let the world crumble down around us. I guess we’ll find out.

-Clayton

2024 06 29

Busted car for the busted car photo collection. Atlanta, Georgia. May, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Another quick entry today as I have a day filled with social activity (and some work, of course).

More words another time. Enjoy the weekend!

-Clayton

2024 06 23

Busted flat in Atlanta, Georgia. May, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

It’s summer raining out, which is lovely. We just got back from food at cocktails at the bar. I’m figuring out the next few months. Many things to do. A wedding, for example. Documenting life. Opening a bar, perhaps? Running a studio in a constant state of disrepair. Yes, my brain is everywhere these days.

My parents, lovely as they are, are also older folks who don’t fully understand the value of money these days. Things are expensive. I tell my mom Biden may not be president soon because things are expensive. She doesn’t understand how it’s possible that a hotel room costs as much as it does; how a wedding photographer costs as much as it does. Her son is a photographer, yet the numbers don’t make sense from her perspective. If only she knew what I pay in rent each month.

These things weigh on me, too. Why I’m busting my butt so hard just to make it to another day. As you get older, the pulling yourself up by the bootstraps gets harder. The straps are frayed and your arms are sweaty and weak and you’re a bit drunk to numb the pain, so you forget to tug one day, then another.

The car sits outside, collecting dust. The tire goes flat. The oil dries out. Problems compound and transform into an insurmountable task. Better to forget it exists and put it out of your head. In a few more days time, you’ll have the capacity to deal with it, you tell yourself. The days come and go. More excuses pile up and it becomes easier to bury them deeper than to confront them.

Upstairs, your partner yells to make sure you didn’t doze off on the couch as you typically might. The rain tapping rhythmically doesn’t help. The buzzing alerts on your phone and computer and watch take your focus away.

I think the biggest trick in life is maintaining focus, despite the constant distractions. Finding the flow state and living in it as long as you can. Obviously, this will create other problems for you, such as automobile maintenance and relationship stability. Off to bed, I go.

-Clayton

2024 06 08

Another busted car. Chicago, Illinois. April, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Lately, I’ve been making a lot of images of janky and busted cars. Basically, anytime I encounter one, I snap a photo or two. Why, exactly, I’m not sure, but I like them because they tell a little bit of a story. They make you think a little bit. They are not the same as every other vehicle. They are a sign of the times.

When I was in college I wanted to make a documentary about how terrible cars are. My hatred has cooled a bit, however, I do strongly believe we have shaped our landscape far too much in favor of the automobile. It’s nice that this trend seems to be waning these days, and streetscapes are being remade on a more human level. Let’s hope the trend continues.

-Clayton

2024 05 10

Old van that sits by my house collecting parking tickets. Chicago, Illinois. March, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Someone posted that Steve Albini had more effect on Chicago than most mayors do, and that’s probably true. I never knew Steve, never met him, was aware of his existence and importance but vastly under-appreciated it until yesterday, when he sadly died far too soon. The entirety of my social feeds were flooded with Albini stories and memories, which was a joy to take in.

Albini most recently lived in the Ravenswood Gardens neighborhood. He told the Columbia College blog “In the Loop” why he stayed in Chicago in a 2017 interview:

“There’s not a lot of bloodthirsty competition in Chicago. In places like New York and L.A. the cost of living is so high and the the notion of ‘industry’ is much more cemented. In L.A. there is a pop music industry, in New York there is a pop music industry, and there’s competition to be part of that. The competition to beat other people to the brass ring or whatever, and I never get that feeling in Chicago.” 

I loved this take about why Steve chose to stay in Chicago after finding fame in recording massively successful rock albums and I think it helps summarize why Chicagoans hold Steve in such high regard. He was a complex figure who did not take bullshit from anyone and was not afraid to call people out for anything he deemed wrong, which is not a personality type that tends to do well within the power structures of big time America among the coastal elites.

If you, like me, were not well versed in Albini and his brain, do yourself a favor and dig into him some more. Listen to his albums. Read some of his thoughts.

This Baffler piece, for example, written in 1993 is an epic takedown of the extreme power structures which built up around mainstream music, designed to suck as much money out of the artists as it possibly could. His writing style is direct, strong, and punchy! 😛

The official Nirvana twitter account posted the 4-page letter he wrote to the band before recording In Utero with them and it’s an incredible read illustrating a wonderful piece of history. Check it out via the tweet linked below.

Steve Albini. pic.twitter.com/DzYjvJykdx

— Nirvana (@Nirvana) May 9, 2024

Rest in noise, Steve. Thanks for being you.

-Clayton

2024 04 17

How’s my driving? Not great! Chicago, Illinois. March, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Arriving late to my airport-adjacent hotel on a quick work trip, I glance at my phone to see if any food options are still available. Everything closes soon. Luckily, there’s a decently-rated basic grill in the hotel next to mine so I drop my stuff and walk towards it. The parking lots are massive and dark. The hotel looms over the dark horizon but as I get closer it becomes apparent that the entire perimeter of the hotel property I am currently on is fenced in with no pedestrian access. I’m in one of these areas designed fully for car access only.

Instead of giving up and backtracking to go all the way around the complex, I mumble “fuck cars” to myself while scanning the area for any sort of evidence of human foot-based activity. One area back near the dumpsters in the corner is a bit more worn out that the rest with a small gap in between the mature evergreen trees, so I psych myself up to make it happen. As I’m cresting the jagged steel fence, I have a quick vision of catching my foot and falling headfirst into the parking lot cement and needing to come up with some kind of cover story when I meet with the client the following morning because there is no possible way to make this sound not insane should it go wrong.

Luckily, I make it across with only a small cut on my hand, evidence to show the server if the situation calls for a little desperate pleading to get the kitchen to stay open for one last order. Now that the right building is immediately in front of me, the next problem becomes apparent. While, yes, the grill I’m seeking is right on the other side of the wall, I’m now standing in the back lot of the next hotel complex with, again, zero pedestrian access aside from a few emergency only escape doors which I can’t enter. I have a some more thoughts about how much I hate cities designed fully to accomodate cars as I walk all the way around the building and inside, my journey now complete.

They’re still serving, although the menu is limited to four items. I order the house burger and think about how old we are getting as I watch Lebron James’ Lakers win a play in game and a consistent stream of people wander in looking for food themselves, most holding airline vouchers that seem to be as valuable as cash in these parts.

Now, I’m back on my hotel bed reviewing casting callbacks while typing out this monotonous story-of-my-night without any sort of lesson, purpose, or deeper meaning. Let’s land the plane, Clayton!

When airplanes aren’t falling apart mid-flight, modern air travel is a remarkable human achievement. Merely a few hours ago, I was back home in Chicago meeting with a rabbi about our upcoming wedding ceremony and now I’m hopping a fence in search of a cheeseburger in a city 700 miles away, while the most interesting thing in my afternoon wasn’t browsing the internet 35,000 feet in the sky, or riding the automated airport train, or moving through mid air at 580 miles per hour.

The most interesting thing was, upon leaving to walk back to my hotel, again getting stuck in this new hotel’s parking lot only to run into a security guard who told me the only way to exit on foot is in the exact opposite direction I needed to go. Fucking cars! Seeing my frustration, he asked where I was headed, to which I pointed up at the building right across the alley from where we were. He told me to go back into the hotel, cut down a hallway, and go through the doors marked Employees Only, then out the back exit. I’m not usually one to disobey the honor system no access warnings but given permission by the parking lot security guard, this was my ticket to adventure! Thanks Sonesta Atlanta Airport North for a solid burger, back-stage access, and a shortcut which saved me 6 minutes of walking which I could then sink into writing this remarkable retelling.

-Clayton

2024 04 04

Photo of an old car for sale that I would’ve made with a film camera if I’d had one at the time. Grand Detour, Illinois. February, 2024. © Clayton Hauck

Well, it finally happened. Was it inevitable? No, actually! But I’m (so far) very glad to be back shooting film again.

I’ll admit it, I regret ditching film over a decade ago now. Digital was just so easy, required for every paid job I’ve done, and in most ways better than film. Of course, this is subjective and many people will disagree (myself sometimes included). The one thing film has that digital never will is je ne sais quoi, or rizz as the kids are now calling it (I think?). Sure, you can fake it in post but what’s the fun in that?!

I could probably go way deep on this topic and perhaps soon I will as I start to get some rolls developed, assuming this camera I picked up at an estate sale even works, but for now I’ll keep it brief and proclaim my excitement to be back to film. The camera I purchased (for way too much money) is a Contax T2, which was always a dream camera even though it’s a trendy motherfucker and way overpriced for what it is. I don’t care, though, it’s beautiful (assuming it works)!

The first roll is already rolling to a lab in Cleveland (shoutout Dodd Camera, I’m open for sponsorships!) to get developed. Amazing how this once ubiquitous process is now a specialty service. I will report back soon with some results.

Another observation was how annoyed Allison was upon my return home and excitement with my new (hopefully functional) Contax. She rightfully so gave me shit for my constant negativity towards her anytime she busted out a film camera over the years. Damn. It’s so true and regrettable! Instead of getting excited for her to be shooting film I was secretly jealous of her for using it and had been knocking it as expensive or difficult or whatever as a self defense mechanism. Ugh. I’m sorry, Allison! Let’s go make some pretty film photos together!

Anyway, let’s hope this damn things works or I’ll be back soon to complain about how stupid film photography is.

-Clayton

2024 03 19

Damaged car situation somewhere in Chicago. September, 2023. © Clayton Hauck

It used to be things were messy. These days, everything is clean, sleek and easy! Of course, this isn’t the case, we’ve just become better at hiding the messy bits behind a fascade.

The Disneyfication of America, if you will. Apple is a shining example. PCs used to be complicated until Apple made it easy. All the system files and folders are hidden behind a digital curtain which you can only peek behind if you know the secret access door. We don’t trust you with those files. It’s plug and play! Granted, this approach makes a lot of sense and has been wildly successful. It is the better way—until it’s not. Until your system has crashed and you now don’t know a thing about it and are therefore reliant on the Genius Bar to come to your rescue and free your important business documents from digital purgatory.

Today, I walked to work after being unable to charge my electric vehicle for reasons unknown. File a service request and move on. It’s a fun car, though! Not a button in sight!

Arriving at work, I go to turn on some music but my fancy wireless speakers don’t work because the Sonos app can’t update and is stuck in a doom loop of saying it needs to update, followed by a failed update with no further information. File a service request and head to the daily photo blog to vent about it.

In a way, it’s a nice reminder that while things may appear orderly and structured, there’s still a mess behind the scenes.

Don’t becomes fully dependent on the Genius Bar. Stay messy.

-Clayton

2024 02 28

Rusty old car I’ve been photographing for well over a year now because it never moves and nature is slowly reclaiming. Chicago, Illinois. February, 2024 © Clayton Hauck

Having something to look forward to is a big part of my being in a good mood. Is this blog something to look forward to?

Constraints are a big part of creativity. Forcing one to figure it out often leads to better work. Big budget movies are often crappy… because they had budget to do whatever they want! Decisions were made without much consideration. It’s easier to make something good out of nothing than it is to make something good out of everything… the guerrilla approach. The underdog often has more motivation and is scrappier. America can’t defeat Afghanistan; America can’t defeat Vietnam; America can’t defeat Palestine not because we lack the resources but because we lack the will (and also they are undefined, losing battles to begin with). The only reason we attempt these wars in the United States is because we have too many options, therefore they sound like reasonable solutions.

Why did I segue into talking about war again? Let’s get back to obsessing over AI taking my job! Oh yeah, so this is why I’m in a crabby mood these days.

Chin up.

-Clayton